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10 Ways To Help Finding Yourself

Top Tips January 18, 2017 By Vincent

We can all feel a little lost at times and be stuck not knowing what to do with ourselves or even who we are and where we should go next but that's okay. It happens to everyone at one stage or another even in the tiniest form and whilst most can usually work through it, some might need some help.


Here we look at a few things you can try if you think you need some direction.


1. Don't Travel...Or Do, Actually

You've probably heard it a thousand times before from the obnoxious, self-important guy at the party or read it in a book like Eat, Pray, Love where travel helped them 'find themselves' but it is such a cliche because it's true. The problem with this is that people think that they can find themselves by going traveling in order to do just that, alas it doesn't work like that.


Going traveling allows you to get away from everything, situations, and people that you usually surround yourself with. You can either reinvent yourself or discover you are actually quite happy with who you are but you need to put yourself in new, different and challenging situations to do so and traveling is the best way to do this all at once. However, those who travel with 'finding themselves' in mind won't achieve anything as it will be consciously there all the time. Travel for the sake of travel and the rest will come to yu. Even if it doesn't you will still have had a great time traveling, so what's the problem?

2. Read

Not everyone can travel and that's fine too, but it is imperative that you open up your mind to new thoughts and feelings and try and experience as much as you can, even if that means you never leave your home town (although do try and, at least, leave your hometown) but by reading you and explore places you've never been and open yourself up to new ideas and concepts that you've not come across before.


Try to devour everything and anything with words in it and push yourself to read authors you've never tried before or genres that you don't usually go for. Read things you think you'll disagree and ask yourself why, read fact, fiction, fantasy, realism, and all points in between but read it all and absorb it and think about it, why do you like it, why not? 


3. Challenge Yourself

Going hand in hand with the travel and reading, challenging yourself is how you find your limitations, your breaking points and maybe even discover something about yourself. When thinking about people, places or ideas, ask yourself why you think, what made you come to those conclusions and why you think like that, then flip it on its head.


Try and think from the opposing perspective and see if you can empathize with it, approach it rationally and see if you can see how others think and feel.

4. Move Out of Your Comfort Zone

If you stay in your comfort zone, you will never know what you are capable of as you will just stay within a place where you know you can achieve the simplest of things but if you push yourself a little harder and stretch yourself a little further you may surprise yourself with what else you can accomplish.


Yes, you may hate it, but what if you also love it? You never know until you try?

5. Find What You Love

What do you really love doing? Well, why aren't you doing it? Is it too hard or too scary? Good, then you should definitely be doing it because then all the hard graft and work will be so much sweeter when you attain little victories and it will only become something that you love more and more so!


Not sure what your passion is? Then go out and find it, do everything and anything until you find what makes you happy and then just keep doing that!

6. Look At Your Friends

In times of trouble look to friends and family, see what makes them happy and ask why you like them so much and why do you feel happy around them. Then, flip the question and ask why they like you and what makes them want to be around you. Don't be afraid to ask either.


You may find that what you've been looking for has been there all along and you just needed it pointed out.

7. Embrace Solitude

Take some time for yourself and be a little selfish for a while. Embrace silence and solitude and just be alone with your thoughts. Don't let people impose their thoughts, feelings, wants or needs on you for a little while and just find out what you want. What would you really like and why?


Maybe you'll find solitude is not for you and you want to be around people and that's okay, you've at least discovered something about yourself but don't be afraid to be alone, it can be quite freeing.

8. Question Everything

We've touched on this earlier on but only by questioning what you know about yourself, others and what's around you will you be able to see new avenues available or discover what is making you sad and what makes you happy.


Of course, we're not saying go complete conspiracy theorist but just ask why, and if you don't get an answer, think why you're not getting one.

9. Ask For Help

It's okay to ask for help and to reach out to others. Sometimes we are too close to our own issues to be able to assess them accurately and a different perspective can be very helpful, sometimes people can give a clearer view of what you need than you can yourself.


Even if they can't directly help you, emotional support is vital to anything and you need to know you're not alone.

10. Don't Be What Others Want You To Be

All too often people think they should be what others expect of them and that may well be something that just isn't right for you. Sometimes it's better to go against expectations for your own personal growth rather than trying to make others happy all the time.


It's a great thing to be considerate of other people's feelings but when it comes to what you need and want from life, then it is all about you!

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