Paul Simon knows how to write a love song or two. In fact, he's written many, all of which have made him very wealthy. But the one people listen to over and over again is his much-loved classic, '50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.'
Why? Because not only was it another masterful piece of singing from the American crooner, but it was also the lyrics which captured the minds of many torn lovers. But we at Lifehack Lane aren't going to list 50. We could, but we reckon by the tenth point, you'd already have made your mind. So, without wanting to be homewreckers, here are ten tell-tale signs that may suggest your courtship has met its conclusion.
1. Not being scared to go out and potentially meet someone else
Kanye West, another American songwriter, believes love is cursed by monogamy. After all, there are plenty of beautiful, and like-minded people out there that are probably just as compatible as your current partner is.
But even though those in a safe and healthy relationship know this, they're also content in the knowledge that they have found love and aren't willing to let anyone else get in the way of their happiness. Though if you aren't feeling that way, then maybe you should assess whether you want to be on exclusive terms with your partner.
2. You're super paranoid and jealous of others most days/minutes/seconds/now
Some relationships are just toxic, and the ones where trust is at a minimum are usually the ones which wither away. If they've cheated in the past, and you still don't trust them when they're out with their friends, chances are you won't ever trust them.
Do they like the attention of others? Do they have no problem hanging around with others without telling you? If so, then it's probably for the best you end it. It may hurt, but you'll be better off being with someone who wants to see you as much as you want to see them.
3. You don't miss them
If you don't miss them now, chances are you won't mind when they're gone. You might wonder for a brief period if your decision was the right one. You may even suggest giving it another go. Still, having felt the way you had for as long as you were, letting someone go is often the hardest part.
Remember life's too short to be with the wrong person, and if you don't feel a need to see them, then it is time to move on, no matter how kind or pretty they are.
4. You look at their negative, rather than positive features
We all do this. People in marriages do it. Long-term couples are guilty too, and it's likely that you'll never live happily ever after in a castle as you swoon over each other's irresistible features. Why? Because we are all unique as individuals, and no one, however, much of a soul mate you deem them to be, will appreciate your belching or snoring.
Then again, if you let those traits cover and conceal the features that you fell in love with, it might be a sign that you're no longer head over heels for them. Instead, you've likely fallen out of love
5. The physical aspect of your relationship is dead.... or it's the only good thing about it
Intimacy is a dealbreaker in many relationships. Without it, what do you have? Good conversation? Trips to museums? There's only so much time that can last, and though many soon discover that a relationship is about more than just sex, a life entirely devoid of it will sooner or later finish it off.
In contrast, you have those who bundle each other into one another's arms and just can't get another of one another... until it's over. In sum, a sexless relationship signals the end. And the opposite sometimes implies that while you may never have had it so good in the bedroom, you're probably better off being with someone more suited to you as a person.
6. You like to have your cake and eat it
As humans, it is inherent to be selfish. Richard Dawkins, the celebrity academic, even named one of his books on the human personality, calling it, "The selfish gene." So it's no surprise we've all felt the need to exercise that gene when in a relationship.
It may not even be going anywhere, but if you like seeing them every once in a while, then that's okay, right? Wrong. Not only are you stringing that person along (we've all been there, too), but you're also showing a lack of decisiveness in ending the relationship/fling. If you like that person, commit to them. If not, find someone else. It's that simple.
7. Staying in rather than seeing them seems more appealing
Netflix. Ice cream. Your warm, spacious bed. Sounds cozy, right? But would it be better with that special somewhere there too? If you're reading this and telling yourself that it wouldn't, then your fate may have already been sealed.
Remember, relationships are shared experiences, and if we want them to work, we have to let them the other person in. If you don't want to, then you'll have to think long and hard about your future.
8. Is the grass greener?
After seeing someone for an extended period, questions are inevitably raised. Can I see myself being with them forever? Are we right for each other? But those who think about such questions every day, as opposed to once in a blue moon are often those in search of greener grass.
It doesn't mean you're a terrible person, or that you want to become an all-loving lothario. It probably means that they're not right for you and that you want to date others, and there's nothing wrong with that!
9. Have I embraced it for all it's worth?
All good relationships require effort and sacrifice. Even the exceptional ones. You see, relationships don't just drift along in a free-floating state of happiness.
Take the man in the gym with the best abs. He may look happy and have the best six-pack imaginable, but it's required hours of training and sacrifice.
Relationships are no different. You might pass a glamorous couple laughing in the street and wish you had that too, but they've probably had a lot of problems that they managed to work on to remain together. But if you aren't committed to working on yours the moment a problem arises, it's best you call it quits.
10. You're still reading this article
Are you searching for something that you already have the answers to? Probably.
It may be hard, but it can also be quite liberating to know that time is of the essence and to grab every day as though it's your last. So let them down gently, and find someone else.
After all, to quote a famous writer by the name of E.A. Bucchianeri, "Love, like everything else in life, should be a discovery, an adventure, and like most adventures, you don’t know you’re having one until you’re right in the middle of it.”